you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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