I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
