you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
