trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize