glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
