I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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