This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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