for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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