Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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