yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
