I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize