I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
