can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
