apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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