The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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