I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
