Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
