I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just want nice things and good sex
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
