i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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