Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
