Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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