this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
soo... how was my night?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
