you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize