Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
