i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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