I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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