Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
