its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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