I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
