I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
