9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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