so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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