If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Everyone says I win the strip club
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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