How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
