Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
did i just pee glitter
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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