I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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