4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Im at strip club and am horny
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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