Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize