Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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