Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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