so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
