I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
