The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize