Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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