we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
