I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
