She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
