I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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