He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
