last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize