I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
