I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
