margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
