We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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