I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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