i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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