the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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