forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
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