I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
