the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
They took my balls.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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