you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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