I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
