i think my mom watched the whole time
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
