i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She told me I should be a condom model.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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