I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
